Home > Fantasy, Succession > The most tragic DF story ever!

The most tragic DF story ever!

April 8, 2009

dwarffortresstitleOver at QuarterToThree.com we’ve been running a succession game called “Quakebells“. We have some odd rules, first up, all dwarfs are heretics and believe that it is sinful to live underground. Second, there must be a sacrifice of a dwarf every autumn to ensure that the sun comes back for spring. It’s only logical, right?

Well, one of our posters wrote up his year in control through the eyes of a young dwarf. It was pretty damn funny so I thought I would share it with you all. Read on from here, which is about seven years into the game and a year after “The Great Dying” when a tantrum spiral almost destroyed the fortress. You’ll laugh, you’ll smile and you might just cry at the end!

Here’s a sample of the writing by Damien Neil:

I never knew that it is so much work to be in charge!

Mrs. Angie Gallant and Mr. Matthew Gallant and all the other nobles said we had to have a Meeting. They talked a really long time about how they want dining rooms and offices and bigger bedrooms and tombs and all kinds of stuff. I was really bored but I didn’t yawn or anything and I said I would See What I Could Do. (That’s what Daddy says when I say I want a new dress.)

I looked all over the place and I found some rooms that nobody was using! So now Mrs. Gallant has a nice dining room but she says it is not large enough. I don’t know why she doesn’t just eat in the great hall. It’s ever so nice with all the other dwarves around although I do not like it when they say eat your plump helmets there are starving dwarves who do not have any.

I highly recommend reading to the end of Damien’s writeup. It’s awesome!


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  1. LordNuts
    April 8, 2009 at 7:05 pm

    Thanks to you, I’ve started a Viking Fortress in a snow covered region. The challenge is building every building out of wood, and instead of making tunnels to mine for metal ore, using a quarry.
    Hopefully my fortress won’t go up in flames…

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